Word of the day

There once was a mayor named Eunice

Who favored a grand multimunic-

ipalitization

To form a small nation

By merging Chicago and Tunis.

Breaking the mold, or vice versa?

Me, howling: "Dead love, tell who killed you!"

Her: "If I remember it, will do!

But I fear I am going to

Fast disappoint you:

I'm sure I died chugging that milldew."

Science is whatever we want it to be

The chemist was licking his chops.  He

thought he'd made a vaccine for the dropsy.  

But brewed from salamis,

No cure could it promise;

It only ensured an autopsy.

And it's a sociology dissertation, too!

A postgrad need not be a TA

In order to cover her fee — A

worthwhile fiscal answer

Is work as a dancer!

No, not the nice kind who can plié.

Sometimes it takes a few tries.

A haunted thirteen year-old Aussie

Was exorcized under a cross.  He

went pale as Norwegians

Then belched, "We are Legions!

You can't spell 'possessed' without 'posse!'"

He gave me a Leary look.

"No, officer, I'm not imbibin'"

I swore when he asked where have I been

"I booze less than yearly —

This flask here is merely

A liter of pure psilocybin."

I'm sorry in advance for this filthy piece of fanfic. But not sorry enough not to post it.

Up mountains whose clarity fog thwarts

Hermione snuck out of Hogwarts

Excited above would

Be miss Luna Lovegood

Dressed only in heels of Fluevog's sorts

What I think about whilst doing my "real" job

Come sleep, my kitten, here upon my lap

Your purring softly rattles like warm rain

I'll rub your belly while I grade this crap

Your love's the last resort that keeps me sane

My students fail at every nuance taught

Their sentences lack vital parts of speech

And so, sweet kitten, stay here in this spot

I'll daydream of what you'd be like to teach

You'd raise your little paw (to bat at thread)

You'd ask good questions — "When is lunch today?"

I'll pat you gently on your fuzzy head

In grasping tough ideas (or rather, prey)

I'd trade my students just to serve my cat

If only they'd give tenure out for that