Friday, September 24, 2010

Word of the day

There once was a mayor named Eunice
Who favored a grand multimunic-
To form a small nation
By merging Chicago and Tunis.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Breaking the mold, or vice versa?

Me, howling: "Dead love, tell who killed you!"
Her: "If I remember it, will do!
But I fear I am going to
Fast disappoint you:
I'm sure I died chugging that milldew."

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Science is whatever we want it to be

The chemist was licking his chops.  He
thought he'd made a vaccine for the dropsy.  
But brewed from salamis,
No cure could it promise;
It only ensured an autopsy.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

And it's a sociology dissertation, too!

A postgrad need not be a TA
In order to cover her fee — A
worthwhile fiscal answer
Is work as a dancer!
No, not the nice kind who can pliƩ.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Sometimes it takes a few tries.

A haunted thirteen year-old Aussie
Was exorcized under a cross.  He
went pale as Norwegians
Then belched, "We are Legions!
You can't spell 'possessed' without 'posse!'"

Sunday, September 12, 2010

He gave me a Leary look.

"No, officer, I'm not imbibin'"
I swore when he asked where have I been
"I booze less than yearly —
This flask here is merely
A liter of pure psilocybin."

Friday, September 3, 2010

I'm sorry in advance for this filthy piece of fanfic. But not sorry enough not to post it.

Up mountains whose clarity fog thwarts
Hermione snuck out of Hogwarts
Excited above would
Be miss Luna Lovegood
Dressed only in heels of Fluevog's sorts

What I think about whilst doing my "real" job

Come sleep, my kitten, here upon my lap
Your purring softly rattles like warm rain
I'll rub your belly while I grade this crap
Your love's the last resort that keeps me sane

My students fail at every nuance taught
Their sentences lack vital parts of speech
And so, sweet kitten, stay here in this spot
I'll daydream of what you'd be like to teach

You'd raise your little paw (to bat at thread)
You'd ask good questions — "When is lunch today?"
I'll pat you gently on your fuzzy head
In grasping tough ideas (or rather, prey)

I'd trade my students just to serve my cat
If only they'd give tenure out for that